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If you know, or find out, who is stalking you

If you know or find out who is stalking or harassing you, you should follow the below steps:-

  • Do not confront your stalker or engage them in conversation.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, agree to meet with them to talk about how you feel about them bothering you.
  • Do not respond in any way to calls, letters, or conversations. If you ignore the phone nine times and pick it up on the tenth, you will send the message that persistence pays. Once they have your attention, they will be encouraged to carry on.
  • Seek advice from the police, a solicitor or the National Stalking Helpline about what you should do. 

Advice for victims of stalking and harassment 

Personal safety

  • Take a mobile telephone with you when you go out.
  • Carry a personal attack alarm and learn how to use it.  Do not carry anything that is meant for use as a weapon.
  • Try to alter your daily routines.  Ask friends to go with you whenever possible, and always try to let someone know what your plans are.
  • Contact your telephone company to see what action they can take against malicious callers.  Register with Telephone Preference Service to have your details removed from direct marketing lists.
  • Review your security settings on social networks.

Keep records

  • Keep a record of what happened, where and when, every time you were followed, phoned, received post or e-mail.  Write the information down as soon as possible, when events are still fresh in your mind.
  • The more details you have the better.  How did the offender look or sound? What were they wearing?  What is the make and number plate or colour of their car?
  • Keep letters, and parcels as evidence.  Even if they contain frightening or upsetting messages, do not throw them away and handle them as little as possible.  
  • Keep copies of e-mails, text messages and social network messages.  Print copies if you can. 
  • Keep a record of telephone numbers.  Tape-record telephone conversations if you can. Use 1471 and write down details of calls received, including the time received and telephone numbers (even unanswered calls).
  • Tell your friends, neighbours and work colleagues about what is happening.
  • Try to get photographic or video evidence of your stalker (especially if they are someone already warned by the police not to come near you).

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